As You Wish

Things.

2008-06-12T08:26:00.003-04:00

Things I like:

The hum of the cat sleeping.
The sound he makes coming down the stairs.
Wondering what he is looking out when he stares out the window.

The sound of the fan hitting the sheets.
Waking up chilly in June.
Dew on the grass from a cold front during the night.

The way the light shines through trees.
The first red leaf.
The way snow melts on your tongue and just disappears.

Lists.
Schedules.
Organization.

New Jersey roads.
New England drives.
Maryland parks.

Matt Damon.
Barack Obama.
Alton Brown.

Cotton Candy.
Pink nail polish.
Little pink piglets.

Opening a new book.
Buying used books off of Amazon and looking to see if someone left a name.
Putting it on the bookshelf to save for later.

Pride in being Jewish.
Comparative religion.
Celebrating Christmas for the first time.

Humidity in a tent.
How camp food taste better.
Beer potatoes.

Joni Mitchell.
Josh Groban.
Jason Mraz.

Crisp white wine.
Sugar coated red wine glasses.
Grey Goose L'orange vodka cranberries with a splash of sprite.

The time during take off and landing where gravity doesn't apply.
Airplane food.
People watching.

The first dress fitting.
Getting strapped in for the first and last time.
Taking it off.

Augusten Burroughs.
Jodi Picoult.
Tom Perrotta.

The last 4 minutes of Six Feet Under.
The last minute of Primal Fear.
The last 10 minutes of Seven.

Hearing the click-click of a projector starting.
Watching opening credits.
Staying until the very end.

Road trips without maps.
Panoramic views.
Finding the way home.

Things I don't like:

Merging.
Tailgaters.
Optional Blinker cars.

Eating Pork.
Eating anything with seeds, bones, or anything that still has a face.

Driving home after the full attention span has passed.
Being Lost.
Making u-turns.

Knowing the Romeo and Juliet die at the end.
Knowing that Dead like Me and Huff are truly canceled.
Not understanding why Jessica Alba is allowed to be called an actress.

Cats crying.
Babies weeping.
Not being allowed to know why.

What do you like and not like?

Songs

2008-02-27T08:36:00.003-05:00

I really love when characters sing. Because, people sing. Its something really human about people on a screen. Some of my favorite episodes from six feet under are from when they sing. In an episode when Claire and company get high off of something they sing this really pretty song. I still have it in my head. The mom sings (see earlier post)the brothers and the amish wives sing of all people, simon and garkfunkel. Joe sings a little jingle to Brenda. Yeah, if you haven't seen it, my apologies.
My favorite scene in Magnolia is when all the characters finally come together and this this really pretty sad song. I sing with them. So perhaps I am a little strange blending reality and fantasy as well but isnt that the ultimate goal while watching images on a screen? I don't think that I am them or anything like that but I like to at least feel I can relate somehow. Sometimes I feel like I want to bust out with song and dance around. Six feet under did this all the time, what an incredible show. It seriously changed my life forever because sometimes you feel like doing this:

with extra funny line thrown in there at the end, thanks youtube.

In an early season of Party of Five (it might have been the pilot episode yeah i liked that show, sue me) they sing. In Roseanne, they sing. In My So Called Life, they sing. Again, to being up Jerry Macguire, he sings. Singing is almost an indulgence or something to almost feel a little bit shy about if you aren't exactly musically inclined. Of course people on TV who sing usually are good at it but I can sing along and possibly pretend to be.

I love this.....

2008-02-13T08:14:00.004-05:00

Man because we sing the songs on American Idol together. Badly.

I also love my mom because she sends me things like this :

Your monitor looks dirty so I sent over a cleaner :0)
http://cache.valleywag.com/assets/resources/screenclean.swf

I also love the new book I'm reading: My Sister's Keeper.

I also love the ending of the Usual Suspects.

I will also love flying home and meeting my new friend Stacey for food and drinks on Friday.

I love talking to the same 4 people every single day.

I love lots of caffeine in the morning.

I love the smell outside after it rains.

I love when you don't notice until it stops that it was snowing.

Weekend Accomplished

2008-02-11T09:00:00.001-05:00

Friday during the day : 4 out of 5 people showed up. Not too shabby. When appointments don't show up it makes me crazy especially because I am (well not me exactly) paying them to see me once a semester for two years. Talked to T and A (hahaha) during like the day like always. My "brother" T and I talk about one of 8 things every day which usually include something related to six feet under. My friend from Chicago and I IM everyday usually around 1:30. What, I like a schedule. Joined online bookclub called GoodReads. I am back on track with reading. Thank you Jodi Picoult. I love you.

Friday evening: drove to NJ in record time meaning no traffic in CT.

Saturday: Picked up wedding bands from store number one and store number 2. Brought rings back to store number one to be engraved. Bought E's suit for wedding. He now looks like a man in a suit instead of a little kid. I mean this in the best way possible. We both look a little too young for our age and its nice when things can work out. Saw Juno. Wonderful. Uplifting. Made me cry, twice. "I do try Juno". Man, so good. Went to best Mexican food place ever. Had flan. Yum. Finished book, Second Glance, massive goodness.

Sunday: Drove home without traffic. Stopped off at Foxwoods (casino) for some much needed Fuddruckers. Had $10. Made $84. I'll take it. Grocery store. Made invite inserts for registry. Did laundry. My coat still smells like food. Bed.

Monday: Back to work.

I wanna be 5'4

2008-02-05T08:40:00.000-05:00

Dear whoever up there,
I admit I'm not sure if I totally believe in you (Thanks, Angela Chase)but please please make me three inches taller. I promise, I will be a better person. I won't waste as much time in the morning or at the tailor. See, I'll even get to sleep a little longer and save money. I won't have to try one everything before I get dressed in the morning without first picking out the shoes that won't make my pants drag on the floor. Also, why you are at it please make my arms and chest just a bit smaller as well. I may even be able to fit into regular peoples clothes if this were to happen. I will even be assumed not to be a child or under 18 for the first time in my life. Yes, I know I look young but please, don't judge me. "Oh, are you a student?" NO. I judge your age too, I just don't say it to your face. Can't you do the same for me? Thanks.

PS Thanks for the good curly hair day. Keep them up and I'll think about forgiving you for making me 5'1 AND a half. It matters.

I cry. I'm proud (Commercial edition)

2008-02-01T09:26:00.000-05:00

ASPCA. If you haven't seen this yet, you will cry. I think it may be the saddest thing I've ever seen. A few weeks ago I was weeping by the end. Animals make me cry when they are doing happy things! I can't handle an animal being abused and then they have to set it to sad music. I can't handle it. I think I grabbed my cat and hugged him till he couldn't breathe anymore. But hey, it is worth seeing. I kinda feel like I should donate now...thats right make us cry. My cat was rescued. He was found almost dead on the side of the road. E had the cat when I met him and I made him sleep outside. I hated cats. I thought E and I wouldn't stay together because I hate them. This one is different. Zazi sleeps with me every night on my pillow and licks my face and hands just to say hello, like a puppy. He talks to us and understands English and that he owns the house. He is about 7 years old. He makes life better. It is amazing to me that animals can communicate in such a way. They don't need words. Wow, I may cry. Again.

Sometimes when you find something you haven't seen for a long time it brings back really good memories. Even visiting an old friend or being in an old town has this effect. Sometimes, I get it when I find childhood toys. Like this old farmhouse my sister and I used to play with. It had little fake animals and the doors opened. I miss toys. A prominent theme in film is the loss of innocence, but what happens when innocence is brought back?. This happen:

And. I cry. Again.

So it may be strange that of all things an insurance commercial makes me cry. I love these commercials. Every once in a while you see these random acts of kindness taking place in the real world as in wow people care? Really? Yeah its a commercial but I think you start to think about, hey, self, do I do this? Would I move someones cup if it were about to spill? So, even though you make hate people you work with or even live with, sometimes that cup will be moved. Don't well all help other people at some point? What about strangers? I hope i do this without thinking how it will make me feel. I hope it is just a natural selfless act. Do they still exist?

When I was a freshman in college the very first day I lost my little zipper wallet. It had my school ID state ID credit cards and cash. In the middle of Philadelphia. Within an hour, I receive an email saying "hi I found your wallet, I found your email from your school ID. it is waiting for you in the library." Nothing was taken. Stunned. Amazing. I will always remember by anonymous life savior. Women have a thing when they lose a purse or wallet, what can I say. I hope I will make someone feel like that one day. Yeah, they still exist.

Taxes Schamxes and more...

2008-01-31T12:45:00.000-05:00

Does anyone actually know how to do their own taxes? I got the "W-2" form today and I have no idea what this means. I have no idea what it is. Apparently this is different from a W-4, which I also have no idea what that is. Last year we broke down and had highly recommended woman do it for us because E had lived in 3 different places and was laid off and was on unemployment. Last year was also my first year having a real job. Apparently taking zero exemptions is a good thing because I got a bunch back. I'm really happy their are people who do this for a living. They should be called interpretors instead of accountants. It all seems like Chinese to me. Do tasks like these have to be so difficult or am I just a big idiot? And going to completely random thought.....

This morning before work (yes I'm crazy) I finished watching The Notorious Bettie Page. Quite good. Remember the great gem of a movie called Rounders? Remember Matt Damon's girlfriend? Yeah, what happened to her? She became a woman called Bettie Page. An apparent notorious pin up girl from the 1950's who dared (gasp) to pose nude before the Playboy era hit big. I have no problem with this. As much as a feminist I choose to be sometimes, I no longer have a problem with it. Do what you want. Do what makes you happy or hey why not make other people happy too? I only have a problem when the woman has no say or person or whoever. I like when someone takes control of their own life. I really like the scene in the movie when someone ( a photographer) asks her what would god or jesus think and she says..well whats the harm in making someone happy? After years of thinking this was degrading, I tend to agree. I like Miss Page.

Like no way, you're a queen too?

2008-01-30T08:27:00.000-05:00

I really liked this song when it came out a few years ago. It makes me happy. The lyrics make me cry ( I have no shame haha!) on a "fat day". Thought I'd share it.

sometimes i shave my legs and sometimes i don't
sometimes i comb my hair and sometimes i won't
depend on how the wind blows i might even paint my toes
it really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

i'm not the average from your video
and i ain't built like a supermodel
but i learned to love myself unconditionally
because i am a queen
i'm not the average from your video
my worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
no matter what i'm wearing i will always be
india arie

when i look in the mirror and the only one there is me
every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be
and i know my creator didn't make no mistakes on me
my feet my thighs my lips my eyes i'm loving what i see

i'm not the average from your video
and i ain't built like a supermodel
but i learned to love myself unconditionally
because i am a queen (yeah)
i'm not the average from your video (woo)
my worth is not determined by the price of my clothes (whoa)
no matter what i'm wearing i will always be
india arie

am i less of a lady if i don't wear hose
my mama said a lady ain't what she wears but what she knows
but i've drawn the conclusion
it's all an illusion
confusion's the name of the game
a misconception a vast deception,
something's got to change

don't be offended this is all my opinion
ain't nothing that i'm saying law
this is a true confession
of a life-learned lesson
i was sent here to share with y'all
so get in when you fit in
go on and shine
clear your mind
now's the time
put your salt on the shelf
go on and love yourself (love yourself)
'cause everything's gonna be alright (love yourself)

i'm not the average from your video
and i ain't built like a supermodel
but i learned to love myself unconditionally
because i am a queen (yeah)
i'm not the average from your video (woo)
my worth is not determined by the price of my clothes (whoa)
no matter what i'm wearing i will always be
india arie

keep your fancy drink and your expensive minks
i don't need that to have a good time
keep your expensive cars
and your caviar
all's i need is my guitar
keep your Cristal and your pistol
i'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal
don't need your silicone
i prefer my own
what god gave me is just fine
(oh hah hah hah)

i'm not the average from your video
and i ain't built like a supermodel
but i learned to love myself unconditionally
because i am a queen (yeah)
i'm not the average from your video (woo)
my worth is not determined by the price of my clothes (whoa)
no matter what i'm wearing i will always be
india arie

I cry. I'm proud.

2008-01-29T09:01:00.001-05:00

Movies make me cry. I know, shocker. I have no shame. It is amazing a moving picture can invoke such an emotion. It takes a lot to make that connection, to really feel what someone else is faking to feel. I don't cry often but when I do, the gates are released. There are a few staples:

Rudy: The classic underdog story. I know the ending, but I wait the whole movie for it. It makes me cry the most when the brother stands up for little Rudy. Who knew what the kid from the Goonies would end up doing.

Million Dollar Baby: The one where my "brother" T says its ok for a man to cry . There is no warning about the second half. I like this element of surprise and shock. And, who knew Dirty Harry would make everyone cry? I like how the creepy image of *spoiler Hilary Swank without a tongue still haunts me.

Amelie: Surprised? There doesn't need to be sadness for tears. This movie is so pretty it makes me cry. The love story makes me cry. The fact I don't speak any French makes me cry. The green and red colors make me cry. It's a treat to just have the opportunity to watch it.

The Shawshank Redemption: If you have read the book, they don't meet up at the end. Red just repeats "I hope, I hope...I hope.." at the end. The movie has them meet at the end. I like this better. One of the very few movies that do the book justice. And, I cry because Thomas Newman, the composer, is a genius.

Monster: Oh, Charlize. This one really got to me. I loved the desperation in her and at the end you feel her cry and you felt her not want to kill that guy. I almost feel (yes I know, twisted) that this should be watched with other women. I cried with her. I didn't cry because it was sad. I cried with her and for her. Amazing.

Boys Don't Cry: Hi, Hilary. I love you. I've loved you since (shut up) The Next Karate Kid and your guest role as Steve's girlfriend on 90210. I loved loved loved this movie. I wrote a report on it in college for my intro to gay and lesbian studies class. I knew the story and what happened before I saw it. It's not the same until you see the whole thing. But, I fell in love with Brandon, not with Hilary. Amazing. Who didn't love him?

Pursuit of Happyness: I have dad issues. I'm sure we all do but it feels nice to say. This movie was really underrated. Will Smith, totally convincing. I cry when he tells his son it isn't his fault. My own dad told me it was my fault.

Primal Fear: I cry because Edward Norton is such an amazing actor. The last 30 seconds changed my life.

Steel Magnolias: Tell me a person who didn't cry and I will find them and make them cry.

Little Women: Because I like Claire Danes. It is sad when Beth dies because she "isn't afraid of dying but being left behind." I may cry again. Right. Now.

I have no shame. What makes you cry?

Later: TV shows, books, theater, commercials that make me cry. Yes! I cry in commercials. You've done it at least once.

Moment of Zen. To brighten your day. Maybe make you cry, a little.

Mission Accomplished

2008-01-28T09:00:00.000-05:00

E and I have official moved out of college. We have now actually graduated. Although our diplomas are collecting dust, we actually never graduated. Until now. We are the very proud owners of a new not yet delivered forest green down filled cushy L-shaped couch. Yes it sounds silly but we have been lugging around a futon for almost 5 years. Time for an upgrade, a change. We can have actual guests now instead of sitting on the floor (right S?) or at the kitchen table. Something to call ours together. Ah, the sectional. The wonderful piece of actual life. This is a big step.

One of many big steps this past week. I bought new clothes. Clothes and I have a love hate relationship. Clothes are generally not made in short people length that fits properly. So, I kinda went all out for once and it was really nice. Perhaps, the bill will be nice too. I can hope, right?

I also bought the attendant gifts for the wedding. Pearls will always be classy. I think so too. E and I also finalized the guest list, something not so fun. I hope I was never put on the B list. It is hard to rank family and friends but not as hard as it would be to afford everyone we want. We also started looking at ketubot (the Jewish wedding "contract"). Reality. Now. Setting in. Soon.

Movie news. Saw Zodiac Saturday night. Quite impressive. Mark Ruffalo, underrated until now. I really liked the ending, or lack of an official ending. Sometimes things don't work out. Thats the way it goes.

Dear Netflix,
Thanks for changing my life.
Love, H. :)

Woodstock

2008-01-25T09:29:00.001-05:00

Ever feel adopted? Ever feel like you have no relation to anyone else in your family. There was some sort of black sheep gene, and you got it? I think this happens all the time. Sometimes there are moments where that all gets erased and you feel not adopted or an alien from a completely different gene pool.

One of my favorite episodes of six feet under is from season 2, episode 7 titled Back to the Garden. The youngest member of the family ventures out to hippy territory, CA to visit an aunt. After a crazy night she enters the kitchen to talk to the aunt about her mother. The mother that doesn't understand anything or where she is coming from, how they have nothing in common, things like that. The aunt basically says something on the lines of lets give her a chance. In the background Joni Mitchell's Woodstock is playing and Claire asks what song it is and how she really likes it. The aunt tells her to just take it. When Claire returns to the Fisher home she drops her bag on the table and the tape falls out The scene ends with the mother, Ruth, singing the song.
The first time I ever heard that song was in that show. I therefore ( see previous post) associate with that episode and that show and what it represented. I was on the phone with my mom and told her I got this amazing new CD. She said I can't believe you like Joni Mitchell, I have Ladies of the Canyon on vinyl.

Sometimes, you feel related.

Moment of zen.

Oh, Happy Day

2008-01-24T11:08:00.000-05:00

Just to let everyone know I'm in a really good mood today. Someone told me I looked pretty and I lost 4 out of my 5 pound weight goal. When this happens I go shopping online:

and really consider insuring my DVD collection. I then think about great moments like that scene in Jerry Maguire when Tom Cruise sings Free Fallin badly and loudly. Love it or hate it, great scene. More tomorrow on actors singing. Happy Thursday!

Focus

2008-01-23T14:35:00.001-05:00

Apparently when you are watching something on TV, brain function decreases. This is not the case for me. I can't watch TV to go to sleep. I think too much. I get mad if I don't hear every word or know exactly what is going on in every scene. Blessing and a curse. Sometimes I even find it hard to watch bad TV without analyzing why Bret Michaels isn't dead yet and still has groupies. I have literally stopped exercising because I didn't hear why Tyra kicked off the girl with the beautiful face but ugly soul.

Maybe I just have ADD. Maybe I need constant pictures and motion. Maybe this is why I can't sit still for more than 5 minutes at a time. Maybe I regret not going into a film career each time I analyze things to death for fun. Perhaps.

Happy Wednesday!

Single Serving Airplane Friend

2008-01-22T08:18:00.000-05:00

I love love love to fly. I understand this is an anxiety for some people, and if you are one of those, you can sit next to me anytime :) I like the mini everything. I like the little seats and seat belts and the little door. It is almost like a little play land. I like the grainy sound in the microphone and the oddly shaped overhead bins. I love takeoff. I love when the wheels come off the ground. I love the little feeling in my stomach when the plane feels like it is going up at a 90 degree angle. Peanuts taste better on planes. . I like the little itty bitty bag that takes 1 hour to open. I like little plastic cups with cheap wine or overly saturated watered down alcoholic drinks. I like filtered ice. I like the familiar sounding " tray table in the upright position" speech. I love the moment your heart skips a beat before the plane lands back on the ground. I love how you feel a little bit of an accomplishment every time.

I really love my single serving (thank you Flight Club) airplane friends. Every time I travel alone, I make a friend. These are the best kinds because you will probably never see them again. It is the best of conversation because you aren't impressing anyone. You are killing time, with someone else. This weekend on my fantastic adventure to Raleigh, NC I met several airplane friends. I met someone who lives in the next town from me, I met a woman who helped me navigate the new Southwest system. I met another woman who saw snow for the very first time on Christmas eve in Houston Texas a few years ago. I also met two of my favorite airplane friends. The first was a man I was chatting with when the connecting flight was delayed because of "security issues". He kept telling me to to be careful when the snow came because it will be bad out. "Bad out" in NC means half an inch of snow that has been rained on and is now almost completely melted. I had to smile at the ridiculousness. Most conversations start off with where you are from, and what you do. Because my job can take quite a while to explain, sometimes I just say I do "research at a university". Occasionally people care, its nice. This man was telling me how he used to be a lawyer in LA, commuted 3 hours plus everyday, and hardly ever see his family and totally hated it. He now has a job that makes peoples lives better for their families and their children. This makes me happy. I like epiphany moments anytime. I like saying I hope my job will make peoples lives better too. I like really good conversations with people who you just met will only meet once and for only an hour or so. If we only knew we would see someone for an hour, would we talk about more significant things?

Movie Time:
Last week Follow that Bird was on. Sesame Street is still underrated and still ahead of its time. I remember watching this movie when I was a child on beta. It breaks down stereotypes, is funny smart and well written. I hope it never goes off the air.

PS Go Giants!

Make A List!

2008-01-18T08:31:00.000-05:00

Ok so my first year in college I lost 40 pounds. I know right. Lost. This is apparently illegal. So, therefore, I am making a list of things that worked for me to keep most of it off. These statements have no been evaluated by the FDA, just suggestions as to what may work for you.

1. Because I was poor I made 1 meal last for three. So after cooking a meal make one plate up for you and then immediately put another portion in a container in the fridge. You will have leftovers the next day, already packed, vending machine free.

2. I was in denial. Instead of taking the elevator, walk. Park far away and walk. Walk everywhere possible during the day even if it to go check the mailbox ten times. Ok, this only happens on really slow days. I would just pretend the elevator was out, everyday. Therefore, I was "forced" to take the stairs. I know, a little weird but try it it works.

3. I wear 6 different sizes. Literally. Your ass does not get bigger from one store or another. Stop looking at sizes and start looking at what fits. Don't be afraid to go up or down a size. European fits are sometimes more accurate. Remember: cotton and denim shrink.

4. Atkins doesn't work. Weight Watchers works. E and I did that for about a year and sorta kinda continue it now. Since your daily alloted amount of carbs is more than fat, eat carbs!!! I don't understand this. Honestly most of my daily food intake is carbs. Everything I eat (ok 90%) is low in fat and calories, high in protein.

5. If there are no cookies in the house, you will not eat them.

6. Cheat once a week. Screw everything diet and have a drink appetizer entree and dessert!

7. Make a shopping list once a week. Only go grocery shopping once a week.

8. Make a menu for each day of the week.Only buy things on the menu. Saves time in the store. Example: Monday : veggie chicken patties with sweet potato fries!
Tuesday: Mongolian chicken over rice with sugar snap peas!
Wednesday: Grilled homemade pizza!
Thursday: cold cut sandwiches with baby spinach, feta, dried cranberry, and balsamic dressing salad!
Friday: Baked salmon with baby peas and potato au gratin!
Saturday: Date night/Cheat Day out!
Sunday: Leftovers from date night with yogurt and granola perhaps?

9. You are only allowed to eat if you are hungry, or bored. hehe.

10. Take naps and snacks. I eat breakfast at home (bagel, cereal, muffin, etc.) and then have a snack around 10:00 (apple, low fat pretzel, etc.)

11. If you don't like something, hide it. Ie, vegetable and fruit smoothies sound gross together but are quite good.

12. Olive oil is good for you. Bacon fat is bad. There are such things as really good for you fats.

13. If you must own a scale, only weigh yourself once a week at the same time.

14. Set realistic goals. I want to lose 5 pounds before my wedding. No more. Healthy weight loss is 1 pound per week. This sounds low but is better for you than not eating for a week.

15. A pound is about 3500 calories. If you eat 1500 instead of 2000 calories a day, you will lose a pound a week. Tada.

16. Dance. Hug. Smile. It burns calories, I know right!

17. Have a buddy.

18. Do things that make you feel good.

19. Try to have a general sleep pattern and try not to eat before bed. Weird dreams and stomach aches!

20. My personal favorite, it is a proven fact people who drink red wine and eat dark chocolate live longer than those who don't!

I have no idea where this came from but I kinda like a weekly list of something.

Movie time:

Yesterday we watched Knocked Up. First hour, totally great and really charming. I have a big crush on Ben the Jew. Next 30 minutes..slow....Next 15...slower. End, predictable but sweet except unless I am warned beforehand I really don't want to see a baby's head crowing. Even weirder, E had no problem with this.

I really want to see Juno. Hmm, weird pattern here. Tomorrow I am going to North Carolina to see my good good good friend B, who I maybe see once every two years. Good times will ensue and perhaps pictures. Happy Weekend and boo frizzy damp rained on hair.

Wedding Music

2008-01-17T08:35:00.001-05:00

So, I kind of have this photographic memory. Unfortunately it isn't in something really useful like calculus or geography. Once I see a movie or an actors name or even a song, I'll remember it forever. For example, if I hear a really bad remix of a really good song I will forever remember the bad remix and not the original song more. Like that one from the 8o's (?) that "samples" Freebird. That one actor who is in like everything, Zeljko Ivanek the first time I remember seeing him in a little gem of a movie called School Ties. Therefore, it is hard to me to associate him in anything else.I always see him as oh yeah the professor from that movie... It gets a bit annoying. Again, it "kills" me to see actors from Six Feet Under to be in anything else. More on that later. I really do have a point here.

I really really love the music from Meet Joe Black. I briefly thought about having it at my wedding as the processional music to be played. But I'm afraid I will only see the lovely scene in it and not my own scene. Maybe I have an issue with separating a scene on screen and one that is actually happening. Maybe I need more friends? haha. So, perhaps that is a no on having movie music?

Temptress Browne

2008-01-16T08:42:00.001-05:00

American Idol makes me cry. I have no shame. That is all. Have a good day.

You're a Mean One, Mr. Shrink.

2008-01-15T08:56:00.000-05:00

Dexter is amazing. For the first time ever Showtime is now "beating" HBO. Michael C. Hall is probably one of the best actors I think I have ever seen,. He is the only one after Six Feet Under who is allowed to be on anything else because I am no longer convinced he is David. If you have seen either you know what I'm talking about.

Dexter is this vigilante serial killer. Kinda like the Boondock Saints but a bit smarter and a bit older. Oh, and he working as a blood spatter analyst in Miami. You kinda love him and feel a little dirty for loving him but its fantastic. I feel almost relief when he kills a child molester. Is this wrong to feel this way, I think not. But I do find the fans to be almost underground. Like if Dexter was a real person, we would all cheer quietly while he "took out the garbage". I do have a post here I promise.

E and I are finishing up the first season. A thought occurred to me when Dexter accidentally finds out his "co-worker" Angel and his wife are separated. The wife confronts Dexter after dropping off Angel at their home, which he no longer lives at. All Dexter says is "oh, I didn't know that." Something to that effect. I feel like that is all we need to hear sometimes. As in people who normally find out a couple is not together anymore is generally concerned, often weepy and emotional for them. Dexter is not emotional. He is this monster who just pretends to care and who pretends to feel things. Wouldn't that be wonderful sometimes? What if we didn't have to care so much when someone is in pain we don't know, what if you feel lousy someone got promoted but have to fake being happy for them? I'm not saying to fake emotions but it would be a little nice if we could all just be honest all the time. Sometime Dexter is what I would like to be, void. Sometime for the other person it is nice too. It would be nice just to hear "oh" instead of a unemotionally "oh, I'm sooooo sorry!!!" that I'm sure is somewhat faked more often than not.

Wow, I'm a little morbid today, eh?

Gift of Sound

2008-01-11T10:19:00.000-05:00

I don't think I have ever "blogged", never even kept a journal. Probably due to the fact that it would usually just be rambling. Until now. I came up with some sort of theme...

I have been watching movies since I was 4. Thank you 1987, and Little Shop of Horrors for the beginning of a long career. Somewhat recently my mom had been given the diagnoses of "40% middle hearing loss". This basically means she can hear things but not exactly the right things. For example "boat" may sound like goat or vote or something like that.

I began to wonder what it would be like not to hear voices and songs. My older sister is beginning to have the same level of hearing loss and I will probably too. As of right now, I can still hear fairly well. Then I was wondering what hearing does for me.

Why is that scene so wonderful in the Shawshank Redemption? You know what I'm talking about. The one with the ladies singing Mozart. It is wonderful because it doesn't matter what they are saying but what those men are hearing. Hope. Why is the tango scene so wonderful in Scent of Woman? Because you can still hear Donna laughing while doing the tango with a blind man. Sound.

Film isn't really a hobby for me, not a collection. It honestly keeps me alive, inspired, hopefully..Almost like a fried does. Now I think I will have plenty to talk about :)

Worst movie of the week: Transformers
Underrated: Into the Blue (minus Jessica Alba)